What to Do When You Can’t Stand It But You Can’t Change It

When I wrote this blog, I was shoving dark chocolate in my face and gulping cinnamon tea because that is what I do when I need to pull myself together.

Why, you might ask, was I in my chocolate-eating, cinnamon tea-guzzling state? Why was I trying not to fall apart??

When You Cant Stand It image

Well, sister, come into my kitchen and I’ll set the stage:

I am alone in my kitchen.  I am listening to an instrumental collection of songs entitled “Peace.” I am humming along to Chris Rice playing “Like a River Glorious.” I am totally, thoroughly, completely soaking in the moment; quiet house, peaceful thoughts and the fragrance of cinnamon tea brewing.

When we’re falling apart we’ve got to do more than cry and eat chocolate. [Click to Tweet]
While the tea is brewing and my thoughts are hovering somewhere above planet earth, I walk out of my kitchen to get my favorite tea cup from the dining room. I walk directly into my kitchen wall.

Bang. Ouch.

My hand flies to my brow where the bump is beginning to swell. I say, “I can’t stand this” as I reorient and go to my freezer for an ice pack. I stand before the open freezer, a SpongeBob-shaped ice pack above my left eye, and try to lift my thoughts from how frustrating it is to be blind back to the peace that flows like a river. I take a deep breath and go back to the cabinet in my kitchen and pull out a mug instead. I lay down the ice pack, pour a steaming cup of cinnamon tea and proceed to leave the kitchen again, mug in hand.

Bang. Ouch.

Again, I walk into the wall. This time, cinnamon tea splashes down the wall and my right brow is throbbing. I say louder, loud enough to drown out the peaceful music which is now getting on my nerves, “I can’t stand this!!”

I stand there, face to face with the reality that I just can’t be thinking about anything else as I walk and not be prone to disorientation. I internally fume that blindness demands my total, thorough and complete concentration.

I go back to the counter where a sweating SpongeBob ice pack lays and pick it up to place above my right eye. I am not smiling. I repeat, sorta as a prayer and sorta as an angry mantra, “I can’t stand this.”

And then, I make a decision. I put down SpongeBob, get a paper towel and walk to the wall for the third time (this time it’s intentional) and wipe off the tea that is still dripping to the floor. I throw the paper towel away, pick up my half-empty mug; top it off with tea and decide I can’t change my situation.

As much as blindness frustrates me and discourages me, I simply can’t change it. So, mug in hand, I lift it to toast myself!

“I can’t stand it, but I can’t change it so I will not be defeated by it!”

After my big pronouncement in the kitchen, I cleared my mind completely, walked slowly into my office to type this all out.

You are not the only one who feels this way. [Click to Tweet]
Why? Because I am not the only one who feels this way. You may feel this way too for altogether different reasons. Some circumstances in life we simply can’t stand – they hurt us, they frustrate us, and they discourage us. But, if we can’t change them, we must do more than simply cry and eat chocolate.

We must each make the decision to stand.

I said “I can’t stand it” because it’s just a familiar phrase. But, the truth is I can stand it. I can stand firm in it; I can stand against the urge to get bitter because of it. I can put on my armor, piece by piece, and stand. When I have done all I can do to stand, then I will stand some more. (Ephesians 6:11-20)

Put on your armor piece by piece and then stand, sister. [Click to Tweet]
You, too, can stand.  You are only defeated by your circumstance if you let it be an excuse to sit out, give up, or turn back. My friend, I can stand and so can you.

I know it’s tiring to deal with constant, daily stuff. Really, sister, I do understand. (I’ve probably swallowed an ocean’s worth of cinnamon tea just to prove it!) I know the urge to give in is strong, but, sister, you are stronger and so is our God!

You and I are not of those who shrink back! (Hebrews 10:39)

When the urge to quit is strong, remember that God is stronger. [Click to Tweet]
“So, kitchen wall…take that!! Blindness, I’m talking to you too. You are not the boss of me.  I may not be able to change it, but I WILL stand it!! I am not of those who shrink back! Who needs chocolate now?!”

(Okay, time out!!!!  I take it back, I take it back!!!! I need chocolate now and forever! )

But, what I will never take back is my trust in God who holds me up when I can’t stand anymore.

God will hold you up when you can’t stand anymore. [Click to Tweet]
He will do the same for you, so keep trusting girlfriend.

In the comments, I want you to leave a “pronouncement” like I did to my kitchen wall and to my blindness.  Tell whatever it is that you just can’t stand that you will stand and it is not the boss of you!

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Categories: Blog, My Thought Closet, The Blind Side
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