4:13 Podcast: Can I Unlock Gratefulness in My Life? With Michele Howe [Episode 273]

Michele Howe: It's being confident, 100% confident, that God will meet every one of my needs so that I can forget about myself and go out and meet your needs. That's what self-forgetfulness means. That I can go to my neighbor and say, oh, he needs a meal today, he's sick, or I can go to my elderly parents and take them shopping or a doctor's appointment, and forget about my worries and needs, because I know that God, again, in Philippians 4:19 said, I will supply all your needs, Michele; you go out and meet other people's needs. And I think that is a way, too, that we grow that sense of gratitude.

Jennifer Rothschild: When our eyes are grateful, we can see grace and goodness all around us, yet often we live as if life just isn't good enough. Or maybe we don't have enough and maybe it's just that we feel like we're just not enough. This attitude, though, it messes up everything. Well, according to today's guest, Michele Howe, an attitude of gratefulness changes our perspective. The more we focus on ourselves, the less we develop an attitude of appreciation for what we actually do have. So today she is going to help us unlock gratefulness in our lives. So get ready for a good episode. K.C., here we come.

K.C. Wright: Welcome to the 4:13 Podcast, where practical encouragement and Biblical wisdom set you up to live the "I Can" life, which is so needed today. Because here's truth: you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

Now, welcome your host, Jennifer Rothschild.

Jennifer Rothschild: Did you almost forget my name? You paused.

K.C. Wright: I was --

Jennifer Rothschild: Or were you trying to be creative?

K.C. Wright: -- trying to think of something cute and creative and funny to say --

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah, yeah.

K.C. Wright: -- and nothing.

Jennifer Rothschild: And you couldn't think of it?

K.C. Wright: Nothing came to me. Because I have too much to describe you.

Jennifer Rothschild: No, because you still are in a turkey coma from eating too much yesterday is what's happening.

K.C. Wright: So true. There's a rule that you gobble till you wobble.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

K.C. Wright: And, I mean, we barely fit in this closet today.

Jennifer Rothschild: Seriously, I thought the same thing. Oh, my gosh. But it was a good day. It was a good day.

In fact, we had a good week, K.C., because it was my husband Phil's birthday this week also.

K.C. Wright: Ooh.

Jennifer Rothschild: Okay, little bit of trivia here from the Rothschild Homestead. So my husband's birthday is November 22nd -- all right? -- 1963. So he had a big milestone birthday. But there are two other people -- actually, three famous people, but I just care about two of them that I'll tell you about -- that share this day. Okay? So on the very same day that my husband, stud husband Phil Rothschild was born, JFK was shot. That was the day John F. Kennedy died, November 22, 1963. But guess who else? C. S. Lewis. He died on the very same day.

K.C. Wright: What?

Jennifer Rothschild: Which very few people knew because, of course, it was overshadowed by JFK.

K.C. Wright: Interesting.

Jennifer Rothschild: And like I told Phil, "Honey, it only took one good man to replace those two good men who died."

K.C. Wright: Yeah.

Jennifer Rothschild: See? There you go.

K.C. Wright: Wow.

Jennifer Rothschild: So we've had a fun week around here with way too many calories.

But we're very thankful, and so we're just going to get right to this conversation. And maybe, if you're like us, you're about to decorate your tree, because we always do that right after Thanksgiving.

K.C. Wright: After Thanksgiving? Please.

Jennifer Rothschild: I know, K.C., you've been up for six months. I don't think you ever took yours down. Did you? You never took your tree down?

K.C. Wright: No, I did. But at the strike of midnight on Halloween night, that's when the trees go up.

Jennifer Rothschild: I forgot. Yes, I forgot. Okay. Well, for the rest of us normal people, maybe we're just now unboxing and decorating. So you can listen to the podcast and hear from Michele while we do.

K.C. Wright: Michele Howe is the author of more than two dozen books and has published over -- get this -- 2,500 articles and reviews on parenting, women's issues, and the empty nest. She has been on Focus on the Family and is featured on careleader.org. Some of her books, by the way, include "Empty Nest, What's Next?" "Parenting Adult Children Without Losing Your Mind," and "Finding Freedom and Joy in Self-Forgetfulness." But today she and Jennifer are talking about her book called "Grace and Gratitude for Everyday Life." I'm already loving this and I haven't read the book or listened to this conversation. So I'm excited about it because we got to love every second.

Jennifer Rothschild: Amen.

K.C. Wright: We got to make every second count.

Jennifer Rothschild: Amen.

K.C. Wright: So here we go. This is going to be so good. Turn it up.

Jennifer Rothschild: All right, Michele, let's start with this. I want to know, can gratitude actually help change the way we think or the way we feel?

Michele Howe: Absolutely. And I think that we have to go back to where in the New Testament it tells us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. And in doing so, we are saying to ourselves -- speaking truth to ourselves that we are under the sovereign rule of a good God and we can trust him no matter what -- you know, come what may. And I think it's very difficult at times. I think it's challenging when we're sorrowing or grieving or in circumstances that we really do not know what tomorrow is going to bring. But the more we study Scripture and we read and study and understand who God tells us he is and who Jesus is for us, we are then able to rein in those rampant thoughts, the fear, the anxiety, whatever it is that we're not sure about, and take those errant thoughts that take us down dark paths very quickly and place them under the obedience of Christ.

And then as we do that and we think right -- you know, as the Book of Proverbs tells us, what a man thinks, he becomes. So what a woman thinks, she becomes. And so if we are thinking people -- which I believe Christianity is a thinking relationship too, because God shows us who he is throughout Scripture. But we have to open the Word and we have to study it to find out, and it changes our emotions then in turn.

Jennifer Rothschild: Well, and it's a choice we make. You know, I think sometimes we think that there's just some people who are cheery and grateful and there's some people who aren't. But you're suggesting it's a choice. And you said something I want to focus in on. Okay? You just basically suggested that getting a right view of God, knowing who God is, getting a right view of him is going to impact our thinking and, therefore, our gratitude. So tell us that connection.

Michele Howe: Well, a lot of times people -- you meet somebody new, you don't -- we don't trust people we don't know. Rightly so. You cannot trust everybody. And so when I speak with women and then they say, "Oh, I have a really hard time reading my Bible, I don't open it very often," and then the question that I ask is, "Well, then how can you trust him when you're in a crisis? If you don't know who he is, how can you trust somebody you don't know?" And then they look at you and they go, "Oh" -- the light bulb comes on -- "I can't." So I think that in itself is the answer.

As we open Scripture daily, as the Bible tells us to do, to renew our mind every single day. I mean, the Lord knew we would need truth to be reigning in our hearts and minds every day because we live in this broken, sinful, difficult world. But unless we do that and we study who God is -- and he shows us who he is from Genesis all the way to the Book of Revelation -- we just pick out passages that maybe really are helpful for us for that day or whatever we're facing, you know, write them on a card, put them in your phone, whatever it is, so that you can reread, listen to it on audio, whatever works for you. But make sure that you are drenching your mind in spiritual truth. And that comes from God's Word.

And then I think as we do that, we find ourselves slowly, ever so slowly learning to trust God more. You know, baby steps. I'm not saying it's easy. It isn't. Yeah, I've been a Christian for over 50 years now. And then I think, oh, wow, 50 years. I'm going to be 63. I was, like, 12 when I became a Christian. But there are still days where I struggle to trust the Lord. And then I am immediately convicted by the Holy Spirit because I think I have such a long, rich faith history where he's been faithful to me, and he always has, and he promises always to be faithful. But we're frail and we're weak, and he knows that and he has compassion on us.

But I think the Bible is where he tells us who he is. And when we neglect that, then how can we have a robust faith, a strong faith, a resilient faith in times of trouble? We can't. We will wobble with our circumstances. Scripture tells us we can be overcomers. No matter what we're facing, overcomers. Not just people, not just women who are barely making it through the day, but thriving. And I think that's the difference.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. Well, and I appreciate you said the word "slowly," because I do think we get impatient with ourselves, impatient with the process, impatient with the Lord. Okay, so I'm going to do what Michele said and I'm going to read the Bible five days in a row, and suddenly I don't trust him more or I still feel uncertain. Good word for all of us to hear. It's slowly. This is not something fueled by emotion; this is something fueled by faith.

And you and I talked before we started our conversation with our friends here, Michele, that we're forgetful. We're forgetful about normal things. Of course, we're going to be forgetful, and that's why there is a daily that's involved. But as we're getting this right view of God -- you just said something about our weaknesses. Okay? So I'm curious, in your opinion what does being aware of and accepting our frailty, accepting our weakness, have to do with embracing a right view of God?

Michele Howe: Well, I think it's clear too -- and again we go back to Scripture. And you said two things that I think are important, is we are not good rememberers. None of us are.

Jennifer Rothschild: No.

Michele Howe: And then I look back into the Old Testament and I read all the stories of the Israelites, how they would see miracles. I mean, God opened the sea, you know, he set them free after, what, 400 years of slavery and bondage to Egypt. They walked through that water; they didn't get wet. And then for 40 years, he's providing for their food and their water, their sustenance day by day by day, and yet they turn on him. They just turn on him on a whim over and over and over. And I look at that and I think, how foolish were they? And then I'm reminded I am no different, because God can --I can list in my journal -- I have a journal that can tell you every place where I was in a crisis and the Lord met my need. Maybe not in the way I expected or even wanted, but he met my need and he got me through. But do I remember that in today's crisis? Often I do not. I am not a good rememberer.

So again, I think we have to -- well, I'm an advocate of keeping a journal only for that reason, that you can write down what your need is, and date it, and then maybe write a couple of verses under it, whatever, and then look back and see how God met your need five years ago, ten years ago, twenty years ago. And then your faith is strengthened and renewed and then you come back to the Lord and say, Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. You met my need. Please help me to be a woman of great faith today because I know that even though I don't have the answers, you do because you are reigning. And I think that's a big deal, is that we need to learn to be good rememberers, because God is faithful. He always is.

And then the other part is that I think -- again we go back to we have to have right thinking. And if we know what God says about himself -- and just a few of the verses that I love are, like, from Deuteronomy, "I will never leave you." And when he says never, he means never, never, never, never, never never on into infinity. You know, "And I will protect you and I will strengthen you." That's in 2 Thessalonians. So facing something, I can say, Lord, you've promised to strengthen and protect me. Do I know what that's going to look like in real time? No. But I know that you do, and you're with me.

And one of my favorite verses everybody knows is Philippians 4:19. "I will supply all your needs." And I speak to myself, Michele, you do not have to be the god of your own making here. You can be confident that he has promised to meet all your needs. All your wants? No. But your needs, yes. So whatever I have today, he has provided. If I don't have it today, I don't need it.

I love Elisabeth Elliot's quote where she says if you don't have something today that you think you need, you really don't need it, because God has promised to supply all our needs. And I think as American Christians, we have to really separate the needs from the wants. And those two kind of mix together and we get them confused at times.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yes, we do. And we can easily slip into an entitlement confusion where then there is no gratitude.

And I love, Michele, how you just once again -- you basically articulated why it matters that we're well acquainted with ourselves. Because when we are, then we're not trying to be God. Like you said, you know that then God is God and he's going to supply his need. You don't have to be the god of your own making. And so I think sometimes we get in this Grumpyville or this despair because really we're trying to be God. And so you tell a story in your book about a woman who always saw the negative, and she really struggled to be cheerful and to have the right attitude. Okay? And let's just face it, Michele, there are some people out there who have an Eeyore personality. They're not Tiggers. Okay? But sometimes it's because they're just pragmatists. It's like, I'm not negative, I'm just realistic. Okay? So how can a person who maybe leans toward the glass half empty, maybe they are just a very realist pragmatist, the one who always sees the negative, how can they change that? Or do they need to? Let's talk about that. What's your opinion?

Michele Howe: Well, I think we do need to. I can be given to Eeyore-ism, as my husband will say at times. But I would say exactly what you said. I'm a realist and a pragmatist. So I'll say, "Well, I don't think that's going to work," and I'll give you tens reasons why. And I'm not upset about it, but my mind is always looking at what are the obstacles in front of me that might stop me. Which I don't think is a bad thing because it has saved me from a lot of trouble in life, because I would say, no, that is not a wise move, do not do that. But it also can hinder me when I see problems and I can be overcome by the world's sorrows and the griefs.

And I lead a small group on Wednesday morning at my church. Have for, I don't know, 15 years or so with women. And I will come home and I will feel those women's pain. And my husband's like, "You cannot carry all those" -- and he's right, I can't. And women, too, are more relational. We feel with all our emotions, you know, in a way I would say most men don't. They're different. But God bless the men like my husband who can compartmentalize, because he helps me move through things to say, okay, this is not the end of the world, let's look at it differently. And I need that.

But going back to the story I had in the book, how did this woman change, and should she change? Well, I would say yes, she should change, because the Lord tells us to be grateful and give thanks for everything, because this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. Whatever we're facing today, he has ordained it. Nothing slips through his hands that he has not allowed, whether it's the good or bad or the ugly.

But also how did she change? She changed one thought at a time. And again we have to go back to change is hard. It's a hard one discipline to change in any area of our lives, whether it's exercise or eating or spending or whatever. We have to make changes slowly, and, you know, you go those two steps forward and maybe three steps back. But that's life. I mean, that's life. And it isn't -- again, we go back to we know because the Scripture tells us that we are but dust. We are frail like the wind that passes away. And the Lord is just reminding us, listen, I am enough for you. In my strength you have all you need. On your own, you do not.

And I think again we have to nestle in close to the Lord spiritually, emotionally, mentally in every way we can and rely on him. And he wants us to be dependent upon him. And I think we, as American Christians, often take a lot of pride of being independent and self-sufficient, and he doesn't want that. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't learn to be self-sufficient. We should work to pay our own bills and all those kinds of things. But as far as spiritually, he wants us to be looking unto him as a small child looks unto their mom or dad and knows -- like that little toddler trusts and obeys and just stays close to the parent because they are safe there. And I think sometimes we become Christians and then -- we're that way at the beginning, and then the road of hard knocks and sorrows and griefs and challenges, we can get a little distant from the Lord at times thinking, Well, I'm a Christian, why isn't my life going better? Well, Jesus even said, "In this world you're going to have trouble, but I have overcome the world." So in him we overcome, but we are going to face trouble.

And a lot of the -- I would say even false teaching today is this idea that your life as a believer will be easy peasy. And Jesus said, no, no, no, no, no, no, it won't be. Because look how he suffered through his whole life. And he said, You are my servant, and a servant is never above his master. So I think even having a right expectation of the difficulties that we will face in this broken world is helpful because it's realistic. But it shouldn't make us Eeyores either.

Jennifer Rothschild: No.

Michele Howe: We can be Tiggers on occasion or a lot, depending on our personality and our bents.

But, yeah, I think gratitude, being able to say, "Thank you, Jesus. I don't know why I'm going through this, but I know that I know because Scripture tells me that you only want what is good for me, and through this you're going to get the glory," then it's a whole lot easier to walk through a trial.

Jennifer Rothschild: Well, Michele, you're basically saying you just can't have any kind of authentic gratitude without Biblical thinking. There is a disconnection there. So instead of someone trying to say, okay, I just need to be more grateful, they need to go back to the beginning of what you're saying this process is, and it's one thought at a time, established Biblical thinking.

You also said something that reminded me of this, because I think it's a thing in our day. Even Christians, we can be really into ourselves. And I am curious how too much self-focus impacts our gratitude. And on the other side of that, can gratitude impact our self-focus?

Michele Howe: It does. In fact -- you know, we've been dealing with Covid for over three years now, and I just remember after about a year into this whole -- really, it's been hard for the whole world. I mean, let's face it, it's been something none of us have ever expected to face. But I started realizing that I was getting very self-focused. Not -- and I wouldn't say selfish, but I was, like, panicking, worrying. How will we meet our needs? What's going to happen next month? What's it going to look like? Because we didn't know at first. Everything was so up-ended and uncertain and everything. And then I really started digging into Scripture more and I thought, no, no, no, what I need to do is be self-forgetful.

And I actually wrote a book called "Finding Freedom and Joy and Self-Forgetfulness." And everybody would ask me, "And what does that mean?" And I said, "It's being confident, 100% confident that God will meet every one of my needs so that I can forget about myself and go out and meet your needs." That's what self-forgetfulness means, that I can go to my neighbor and say, oh, he needs a meal today, he's sick. Or I can go to my elderly parents and take them shopping or a doctor's appointment and forget about my worries and needs. Because I know that God again, in Philippians 4:19 said, I will supply all your needs, Michele. You go out and meet other people's needs.

And I think that is a way, too, that we grow that sense of gratitude in our life, is through the grace of God. The Holy Spirit enables us, you know, he puts people on our minds and our hearts, gives us those little nudges. We go meet a need and all is well. It really is. And then we find out after we've not thought about ourself for a few days that -- well, oh, I'm still alive and kicking and it's okay. Because God has promised to meet our needs, and he does.

But we're on this earth to be Jesus' hands and feet. And we can't do that, we really cannot do that if we are paralyzed by fear that our own needs are not going to be met. And there is such freedom and such joy. Again, when we study Scripture -- and it's just replete with verse after verse and promise after promise of his faithfulness to us, and that we are like his dear, beloved children and he will never leave us. Unto our last breath, he will meet every need we have. And I think, oh, I want to rest in that. And when I rest in his provision, then I'm much more able to go out and meet your needs with abandon and be generous with my time, with my money, with my emotions. Whatever I -- you know, anything that I have, whatever resource I have, I am happy to give it to other people because I am resting in my needs being met by the Lord.

Jennifer Rothschild: That's so good. Because we've all seen it and we know it because we've been it. Self-absorbed people are not happy people. It is an equation for unhappiness. And I think deep down, too, it's because self doesn't satisfy self. But it's only when we are really being fed by and led by, like you just described, the Word, being the hands and feet of Jesus, that suddenly we get this deeper sense of satisfaction, and, of course, there's going to be gratitude.

So in your book you talk about how gratitude -- it is a response. It's a response. But often we're stuck in reacting mode. I mean, you kind of described a little bit during the pandemic -- well, we all did panic. We were reacting. So I'm curious if you've got any advice on how to discipline ourselves from overreacting to the hard stuff or the unexpected stuff in life and have a gratitude response instead.

Michele Howe: Yes. In fact, I tell a story in the book about a widow and her single adult daughter who -- they were so good and so sensitive to the needs of the people in their community. And they served them day in and day out, and they had a robust faith in the Lord, and they were just givers. They were givers and they were happy, joyous, wonderful women.

And then the mom got a diagnosis of cancer -- and it was terminal -- and it came on very quickly. So all of a sudden, these two women who'd been giving, giving, giving, their lives were upended because the mom would soon pass. The adult daughter, who was single, would be on her own, and her life was going to look very different, and she would be -- you know, was wondering, will I be lonely? You know, how will I fill my days? My mom and I did everything together. All those questions we would ask.

But they rallied faster than most people, and I can only equate it to the fact that they knew Scripture so well and they obeyed it. See, it's not just enough to know it and read it and go on a Sunday morning, hear your pastor give a wonderful message, I mean, a powerful, meaty message and you listen to it and you take it in. But if you're not obedient to the follow-up every day of the week and obedient to the Lord when you know you should be serving or -- whatever area in your life where you may be just hesitant and you're holding back.

You know, your life is not a believer in the full sense of the word in that Jesus says over and over, Trust and obey. Obedience is better than sacrifice. If you love me, you will obey me. Well, a lot of times we don't want to hear the obey part because it's uncomfortable and it's hard and it's self-sacrificial. But this couple, this gal and her mom, did that. And then all of a sudden, they were on the receiving end, of course, of loads of love from everyone they'd ministered to for all these years.

But they rallied through this really hard diagnosis and the mom's death with such grace because -- I can only just believe and attribute it to that they knew the Word and they lived it and they were confident in the Lord's provision, one for the mom, the grace to die well, and for the daughter who would be left on her own. And she'd have to re-make her life, she really would. And she did. But it was a wonder to watch, and I thought, oh, I want to be that way when I grow up. You know, you see those people, those rare Christians who just are at peace no matter what happens, and I -- just the takeaway there is they studied Scripture. They knew who God was.

And there's a verse that says, you know, that God's Word does not go out void without accomplishing what he wants it to accomplish or desire. So I think about that a lot, and that as I'm reading and studying, What, Lord, today are you trying to speak to me that I can put into practice in my own life? I have to unpack these Scripture verses. It's not enough just to read it, to pray about it and walk away and then do my own thing. No. I have to have a life that's one of a bondservant -- and that's the lowest servant there was in the Old Testament and New Testament -- meaning that I have given my life unto Christ because he gave his life for me. And then if we start thinking that way and we really know, as it says in the psalms, that the earth is the Lord's, and everything in it and everyone who lives upon it. I think about that a lot when I don't like something that's happening in my life or my children's lives. I'll be like, Oh, Lord, this is so hard, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, go on and on. And then I have to end with, Thy will be done. And you own this world, you created it, and you, Jesus, sustain us by the word of your power. Every breath we take is sustained by him right now. And then I think who am I to complain? He is God and I am just one little human woman who does not see tomorrow. But he does.

Jennifer Rothschild: That's a good word, Michele. And very practical. And again it goes back to it's the daily habit of being in the Word.

All right. So we need to get to the last question. And I want us to stay very practical here, because there may be a woman listening and she's like, okay, yeah. like, I wish I were like that widow and that single daughter. But I haven't been in the Word every single day, and so what do I do now? All right? So let's end with this question. Give us some very practical ideas. When this podcast ends, like, how can a woman begin to practice gratitude daily? What can she do in a very practical way to begin this process?

Michele Howe: Well, the first thing is -- it's going to sound like a repeat -- is do open your Bible every day, and then have a pen and paper next to it. And if a verse sticks out to you, write it down. Carry it with you. Carry that little bit of truth, that powerful truth, that word of encouragement with you throughout the day. And look at it hour by hour or as often as you need it. Whether you work at home or, you know, work in an office, wherever you're at, pull it out of your pocket, put it on your desk, put it on your window, over your sink if you're at home all the time, and just ask the Lord, Illuminate my mind. Help me to believe that truth. Enlarge my faith.

And then the second part would be write down -- begin a journal. And I'm not saying you have to journal pages and pages. And some women do that. I'm not one of those women. I make it short and concise. But it still is a powerful tool in helping me to remember what I was facing a year ago and how God met my need. And that's number two.

And number three, find at least one other female friend, who is a believer, who can keep you accountable. Who you can call, you can text, you can email, whatever works for you, and say, I am really struggling with being grateful, I am struggling because -- and you share with your friend, you know, whatever -- it's confidential, whatever, and ask her to pray for you. But also ask her to check in with you every few days and say, How are you doing? Are you trusting the Lord or are you grumbling? Or are you depressed or are you sad or are you grieving, whatever your emotion is. But find a friend or two to keep you accountable, because we all need each other's encouragement. We have blind spots that we don't see our own areas of weakness or sin. That's why we need each other. And I say those three things: be in the Word, write a journal, and find faithful friends to keep you shored up, and then you in turn do the same for them.

K.C. Wright: You can trust God's words. He watches over his Word to perform it. So take time to read, meditate. Remember that psalm. Hear it, receive it, love it, and obey it, and write them down. So much power when you write things down. Write the vision and make it clear, the Bible says. Ask God to help you to believe the truths in his Word. Michele gave some great, great ideas today. Begin a journal to remember what you face and how God meets it.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. Because he does.

K.C. Wright: He hasn't let you down yet. He's not going to. He's faithful and this mercy endures forever.

Jennifer Rothschild: Forever.

You know, and Michele also recommended that you find a friend who can help you stay accountable. I love that. Just another reminder that we need each other, our friends. So ask that person to check in with you, and give her permission to ask you hard questions. And then be willing to be honest, right?

K.C. Wright: Yes. We need God's Word and each other for sure.

Well, our people, you know what? Here in this Thanksgiving season, we are most thankful for you, every single one of you. Your kind reviews mean so much. We hope you have the best Thanksgiving ever.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yes.

K.C. Wright: And remember, whatever you face during the holidays -- and there can be some things with family. You know how it is. However you feel, you can be grateful because you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. I can.

Jennifer Rothschild: I can.

K.C. Wright: And you can.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yes, you can. It's so true.

K.C. Wright: One of my favorite quotes, Jenn, is "Thanksgiving is a magnet for miracles."

Jennifer Rothschild: Ooh, I love it. "Thanksgiving is a magnet for miracles." I'd like the miracle of losing 2,000 calories that I just consumed.