For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 NIV
Well, sister, that is some good news, right? Now, if I could only live it out!
I often lack confidence. Timidity sometimes gets the best of me. And, I bet you know exactly what I’m talking about. Timidity, fear, and a lack of confidence aren’t what our Father gives His daughters.
Your unspoken broken.
We all have it. It’s that thing in us that we don’t talk about because we don’t know how to put words to it. It’s that feeling that rises in us and makes our throats tighten and our voices tremble.
It’s the disquiet in our soul, the ache we always feel but never get used to; the silent companion who takes up too much room in our hearts. It’s our unspoken broken.
The mom who tries to manage her mentally ill adult son — she feels the sting, the ache. When you see her on Sunday and she smiles and hugs you and asks how your week went, can you hear what is not said? Can you hear her unspoken broken? It is there, screaming to be heard and held and helped.
One of the highlights of my whole entire life was getting to pet lion cubs in South Africa! Yes, I got to get down on the ground with those cute little… well, chunky… big guys! They were just 6-month-old cubs and they were sleepy from the warm sun and their full bellies after lunch! I got to cradle their huge paws in my hands and stroke their ears!
They were so docile and sweet – as cuddly and compliant as a harmless stuffed animal in a baby’s crib!!
They aren’t always going to be so docile and snuggly. Nope. If I had hung out in their den for even another hour, giving them time to wake up from their naps, they would have been intimidating. And, if I gave them even a few weeks or months, they would eventually become snarly and fierce beasts that any sane adult should avoid.
I get asked all the time what the hardest thing about being blind is. People naturally assume it’s not being able to drive or read or… well, there are a million things that are really hard about being blind. Bruises. Isolation. Dependence. Those are some things about blindness that are really, really hard. But, then there’s having to constantly manage my frustration with being slow at tasks or even flat-out unable to do something without help.
Yep, it totally stinks.
A few days ago, I was sitting across from Kim, the most amazing nail tech, who has done my nails for the past ten years. And, she gasps, “What is that on your arm? I’ve never seen it before. You need to get that looked at!”
I had no idea what she was talking about so I asked her.
“A mole,” she said, “it’s just come up in the last two weeks because I know I have never seen it before.”
She, then, took my free hand and dragged my finger across the top of the tiny bumpy mass.
I got an email with that as the subject line. Now, that will get your attention, won’t it?
It was from a woman whom I will call Veronica. She says she is a chronic worrier and has panic attacks. She reads her Bible and prays, but speaks really damaging self-talk to herself.
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She needed some encouraging advice…
So, I spilled the beans on how to turn worry in to peace through prayer.
