Can I Stay Married If It’s Not Making Me Happy? [Episode 41 With Aaron and Jennifer Smith]

Are you feeling unhappy today in your marriage? Friend, you aren’t alone. We’ve all walked through unhappiness from time to time and not just in marriage.

Whatever our relationship status is—single or married, engaged or divorced—all of us struggle sometimes with making our need for happiness the greatest motivation for our relationships and choices in life.

Can I get an amen!?!

So, even though this episode talks about happiness in marriage, it’s not just a marriage episode. And, it’s definitely not a “thou shall” or “thou should not have” kind of message either. This is a grace-filled conversation full of practical hope for how we can all start experiencing real happiness when we stop demanding it.

When we aren’t focused on the right thing, we make decisions on the wrong things. [Click to Tweet]

And, girl, you are going to love our 4:13 Podcast guests, Aaron and Jennifer Smith.

The Smiths have been married since 2007 and have four children. In 2011, Aaron and Jennifer each launched blogs, Husband Revolution and Unveiled Wife, where they shared their journey from a marriage in crisis to a relationship built on Christ’s redemptive love. Since then, they’ve written books including their latest, Marriage After God, and even started their very own podcast.

I just know this down-to-earth, transparent conversation is going to challenge and encourage you as much as it did for KC and me!

How to Find True Happiness According to the Smiths

  • Choose transparency. Jennifer shares how the enemy tries to convince us we are alone in our struggles. Maybe you feel that way today. And, because of that, you are pulling away from God and from others, which may include a spouse. But, when you isolate yourself, you’re less effective in accomplishing the purposes God has for you. So decide to be transparent in your marriage and with others you trust. When you share your story, it allows for conversation and connection to happen.
  • Practice obedience. Aaron says that when he was considering divorce, God reminded him of how Jesus walked in obedience for us—His bride. There was a bigger story than the immediate suffering Jesus experienced as He went to the cross. It’s the same for you. When you realize that God has something bigger for you, it takes your eyes off of what you think you need and deserve, whether it’s from a spouse, a friendship, or your circumstances. Instead, you begin to focus on God and practice obedience to what He has for you.
  • Chase after God. Aaron and Jennifer share that when they stopped looking to each other for fulfillment and started looking to God, everything else fell into place. When you chase after God, your priorities, the way you treat others, and the things you say will begin to line up with what God wants for you and your relationships. The good fruit of this will become evident in your life.

How to Know Your Mission According to the Smiths

  • Recognize you are in ministry. Ministry isn’t something out there that you will someday do. It is now. From the moment of salvation, your purpose is to know Christ and to make Him known.
  • Get in and stay in Scripture. God’s Word is your road map. It gives you direction and strength and contains God’s purpose for your life and your relationships.
Our true satisfaction comes from pressing into God and His Word. [Click to Tweet]

So, 4:13ers, let’s do these things. Let’s be people who are after God’s heart with all of our hearts, and if you’re married, ask God to give you a marriage after God.

And, remember, whatever you face, however you feel, you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.

Related Resources

Books and Bible Studies by Jennifer Rothschild

More from Aaron and Jennifer Smith

Stay Connected

This week, what’s one way you are going to embrace your mission to know God and make Him known?

Go deeper into this week's question in my Bible Study Bistro Facebook group. There's a community of 4:13ers waiting for you!

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