There are just some of us who are “sparky!” You know, red-hot personalities, full of passion. Down right dynamite! And, then there are some of us who are like a peaceful stream, calm and calming, rarely riled up and making waves.

Which one are you?

I tend toward the sparky side of life. But, I do have my lazy river side too. Sister, we all do. We all have a little fire in us. A little fire in our thought closets.

My pastor says that we all have the sparks of war within us. We have potential, with the right conditions, to explode into an inferno or extinguish a fire. James wrote, What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? (James 4:1)

We all have the potential to ignite the smoldering embers within us and create a bigger fire. Anger doesn’t occur outside our Thought Closets. No matter your personality, anger’s tiny embers are there already – just waiting to ignite. But peace can prevail. How? By talking to yourself, of course!

Here’s where a little soul talk can prevent a major conflagration.

What you say to yourself when your anger rises, will either calm things down or turn up the heat. Those internally spoken words you use at such a crucial moment will either be water or gasoline.

Water will quench the flames. Gasoline will turn them into an inferno.

So, what do you say to yourself when you’re angry? Do you settle yourself down with “water” words of truth, or stoke the fire with “gasoline” words that accuse, lie or create bitterness and self-pity?

This is well worth your time to consider so that when the dangerous moment arrives – when you get fired up or ticked off – you will have already thought through your response.

What do you tell yourself that ignites your anger? What kind of self-talk settles you down when you are angry? What do you say to yourself that brings you peace? Make your own list of “gasoline words” and “water words.”

Here are some of mine:
Gasoline words: you always, you never, you should have, you ought to.
Water words: I understand, I don’t blame you, good try, way to go, there’s always next time, I forgive you. Grace, grace, grace!!

Gasoline words make things worse. Quick to judge, to point out flaws, and to criticize, they make feelings grow and emotions escalate. The Bible says that a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

Do you use gasoline words when you talk to yourself? Do you use your soul talk unwisely to stir up your discontent and anger? If you’re not sure, then think about how you speak to others. Often those who are harsh and quick to judge others turn that same flammable intolerance on themselves.

Gasoline words rarely express mercy. You shouldn’t speak those words to others, and you shouldn’t speak them to your own soul, either. Your soul needs the “water of the Word” to wash over your Thought Closet. Water words soothe. They make feelings settle down and allow emotions to find proper perspective. Water words are full of discretion, grace, and mercy. They don’t condemn. They encourage and cleanse. As Solomon wrote: Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. (Proverbs 19:11)

Are you a woman of peaceful water words? Do you speak truth to your soul?

Water word warning!!!

You might assume that a hard, truthful word is not a water word. Not so! Telling ourselves the truth can be hard to hear sometimes (like when you’ve really blown it and need to be honest with yourself about your sin) but truthful water words do bring peace. Scalding hot water sterilizes and cold water prevents swelling. Water words are the same to our souls. They may hurt for a moment, but the result is healing and health.

Don’t run from water words that point out a place in your life that needs growth. Instead, let the river of life flow into your Thought Closet, filling the places you are lacking with the richness of God’s Truth.

Not every hard word is a gasoline word, but every harsh word is. The true test is what happens to the flames within you when those words are spoken. If they make anger ignite, they are gasoline. If they make peace prevail, they are water.

The words you speak to yourself, the thoughts you dwell on, can either cause your anger to ignite or peace to prevail.

So sisters, whether you’re sparky or sublime, let’s be women of many water words. Let’s splash them all over everyone we meet today and let’s speak them to our own souls.

What gasoline words do you need to throw out and what water words do you need to replace them with?

P.S. If this spoke to your heart, my new book, Me, Myself, & Lies teaches more about what to say when you talk to yourself.