4:13 Podcast: Can I Overcome Sadness? [Episode 305]

K.C. Wright: It's been Summer Sizzle around here, so that means we've enjoyed four glorious weeks of your hottest episodes on The 4:13. For the last few weeks, we have featured your most shared episodes. By the way, thank you and feel the podcast hug. They all happen to have been great teachings from our girl, Jennifer, and we're not surprised.

So today's episode is going to be no exception, because today's 4:13 question is, Can I Overcome Sadness? This is, hands down, one of the most practical, kind, biblical, and shareable podcasts you will ever hear. At the end, our girl Jennifer, yeah, she's going to sing over you. So let the encouragement begin.

Jennifer Rothschild: Hey, I am so glad you're here. I'm Jennifer, and today I'm going to give use six strategies to overcome sadness. We all find ourselves down in the dumps sometimes, don't we? And we need to know how to get up and get out and overcome the sadness. Don't worry. This is going to be very practical and very upbeat, so get ready to take some notes. Or, if you're on the move, don't worry about it. Everything you need will be listed on the Show Notes at 413podcast.com/40.

Okay, Overcomer, here we go.

K.C. Wright: Welcome to the 4:13 Podcast, where practical encouragement and biblical wisdom set you up to live the "I Can" life, because you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

Now, welcome your host -- she's 5'2, but much taller on the inside -- Jennifer Rothschild.

Jennifer Rothschild: That is true in spirit, K.C. But I'm just saying, I'm shrinking by the minute, and it's not right. Hey, we are so glad you're here with us. Welcome. It's always better when you show up.

It's funny that you said that, K.C., about being tall on the inside, because, truly, I am noticing aging in ways I haven't before. So last week I was putting on mascara, and I thought, Is my mascara running out or is this a different brand? And it was all, you know, good and same, new. And my lashes, they're just getting so thin, and I'm like, Where in the world have my lashes gone? And then, of course, I'm putting makeup on my face and I feel my chin. I'm like, Oh, there they are. It's just not right.

K.C. Wright: Oh, my goodness.

Jennifer Rothschild: It's not right.

K.C. Wright: I was on Facebook and I came across some people that I graduated high school from -- with, I graduated high school with. And I'm not being unkind, but I went -- my first thought was, Oh, they look so old. And then I immediately ran to the mirror and I was thinking, Do I look that old? No, I don't look that old. But it's weird, because time is going by at warped speed --

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

K.C. Wright: -- and I am in this mind frame of it's not affecting me. But maybe it is.

Jennifer Rothschild: Brother --

K.C. Wright: I just don't think I'm as old as they look, but maybe I am, I don't know. But you know what? Here's --

Jennifer Rothschild: I wonder if that's what they think when they see your Facebook page --

K.C. Wright: Here's the truth --

Jennifer Rothschild: -- oh, he's so old.

K.C. Wright: We're aging together.

Jennifer Rothschild: We are.

K.C. Wright: We are.

Jennifer Rothschild: We're in this thing together.

K.C. Wright: And should the Lord tarry, we'll continue aging.

Jennifer Rothschild: And it is better than the alternative, that's right.

K.C. Wright: That's right.

Jennifer Rothschild: We should be grateful.

K.C. Wright: And the sunset is just as beautiful as the sunrise. Oh, I'm going to start preaching.

Jennifer Rothschild: Ooh, that's good.

K.C. Wright: Jennifer, by the way, is singing at the end of this episode, so do stay with us. And we know how much you love that because of your reviews. And thank you for leaving us such great comments and reviews. It helps us really to know what you like and how we can meet your needs.

In fact, let me give a shout out right now to one of our 4:13ers. Ann from California says this. "I wait for Thursday." That is so kind.

Jennifer Rothschild: I know.

K.C. Wright: She waits for the podcast to drop on Thursdays. She went on to say, "I have listened ever since it launched. I love to hear the smiles in your voices and your easy laughs and awesome sense of humor. God bless you both." Well, God bless you back, Ann.

Jennifer Rothschild: I know.

K.C. Wright: How sweet.

Jennifer Rothschild: I know. Thanks, Ann. We really do read these reviews. So thank you.

So let's get right to it, though, K.C. Okay?

K.C. Wright: Let's do it.

Jennifer Rothschild: All right. 4:13 question for today is, "Can I overcome sadness?" And the answer is, yes, you can. And here's the thing. We can't always prevent sadness, but we can prevent sadness from hijacking our lives. So you may be having a great day, and I promise you this is going to make your day better. You may have a difficult day or a difficult season, and I promise you this is going to give you some practical encouragement that will also make your day better.

Because we've all gone through seasons and situations where there's sadness. In fact, I've got a friend who's been in a deep season of sadness, and she sent me a text recently that I want to tell you about. But before I tell you about the text, you've got to know something about this girl. She is like a Tigger on steroids. She's like K.C. Okay? She's happy, optimistic, positive, upbeat, and she's always hopeful. And so this particular day when she sent the text -- let me just try to read it for you. And by the way, if you don't know, I'm blind. So when I read a text, it means -- I actually have in a little ear plug and I just swipe my iPhone and it reads it to me. So here's what it said. "We are overcome with deep sadness to be at this point."

Now, before I read you the rest, let me tell you what this point was for her. Her and her husband had been really dealing with her mom. Her mom had been in and out of institutions because of mental illness, and now they had to make this super hard, difficult, soul-tearing decision about the mom's guardianship because they just couldn't take care of her any longer. See, for years they had tried. They'd emptied their savings for the best treatment centers. They'd prayed, they'd fought, they'd trusted. They never gave up hope. They did everything that you and I would do for someone we love. But on that particular day, they had to have her institutionalized, and they just felt like they were giving her up to an uncertain future. I mean, that's sad. That is deep sadness that washes in with that kind of decision.

But this is how she finished her text. Okay? She said, "We are trusting. Our Father knows and he is near." I mean, that's the truth. No matter how bleak things seemed or how sad she felt, she knew deep down that God was with them, and somehow, no matter how it looked, he was involved, he was in charge, and he was in control.

K.C. Wright: But just because you trust completely doesn't mean you won't feel completely sad sometimes.

Jennifer Rothschild: True.

K.C. Wright: When loss happens or disappointment is great and big, we feel sad. When hard things last a really long time, we can feel down, low, depressed, like sadness is just a part of our heartbeat.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. You're right. Let's get official, though, and let's define sadness. Okay? What exactly is it so we'll know what we're talking about. I'll give you a definition. Sadness is emotional pain that comes from loss, despair, grief, sorrow, or helplessness. Okay, did you get that? Sadness is an emotion. It's an emotional pain that you feel because of loss, despair, grief, sorrow, or helplessness. And the bummer is there's no way to erase it. It's not like you can go to a happy theme park and ride rides and eat cotton candy to make sadness go away. You may be able to distract yourself, or you may be able to displace that sadness for a little while, but you can't make it go away totally. And you can't talk yourself out of sadness either any better than you can talk yourself out of being hungry. You just are. And so it's a reality we need to understand and accept.

So what do you do, though, when you're just plain sad? If you can't fix it, how do you feel it and keep yourself above water? Sometimes all we can really do is kind of stay on top of it to keep it from ruling our lives. So I'm going to give you six strategies, six ways to overcome sadness so it doesn't overcome you.

K.C. Wright: And remember, these will all be on the Show Notes. So if you are on the move right now, we totally get it. And if you can't take notes, we got you covered. Jenn has got the notes for you. Just simply go to the Show Notes at 413podcast.com/40 to get all these six strategies that I know will help and impact thousands of lives. So, let's hear them.

Jennifer Rothschild: Okay.

K.C. Wright: Okay, now tell us.

Jennifer Rothschild: All right. I'm going to give you six. Here's number one: Cry. Cry. Now, for some of you, that's the most natural response to sadness, right? You're like a Niagara at the drop of a tissue. Okay? But for others, crying feels like weakness. How many times have you been with somebody and they start to cry? And what's the first thing they say? "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." There's nothing to be sorry about. When we are sad, it's healthy to express that sadness and to cry. Because Jesus cried. I mean, think of it. When he stood before Lazarus' tomb, he didn't try to hold it in, and he didn't apologize for weeping; he just wept. He just wept. That's a response to sadness that's so healthy. When we cry, we express sadness.

But if you don't express your sadness, what is the opposite? It is repressing your sadness. And here's the thing. Repression will lead to depression. It will make it so much worse. All that sorrow has to go somewhere. Some studies suggest that when you cry, your body actually will relax. And it releases endorphins, which are a natural feel-good kind of chemical in your body. God designed you with tear ducts for a reason. So let your tears help you heal. And remember that your tears are always safe with God.

K.C. Wright: And, men, if Jesus cried, so can you.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

K.C. Wright: This is permission. You can cry. Like Jenn said, it's healing for your soul. So I love that God equipped us in advance for the sorrow we would feel. He gave us tears, so we should just go ahead and cry when we feel it. Remember, your tears are always safe with him. And someone once said our tears are sometimes the only words the heart can express.

Okay, second way.

Jennifer Rothschild: Second way. Okay. Second way is exercise. I know, I know you might be cringing right now, because it's the last thing on our minds when we just want to curl up on the couch and drown our sorrows in a gallon of Chunky Monkey ice cream. Okay, notice I didn't even say a pint. I said a gallon of Chunky Monkey.

But God created our bodies to have and to need an escape valve for all the pressure of sadness, and exercise is a great way to release it. Now, this doesn't mean you have to go do some major workout. It might just mean a walk. But doing something physical will truly help you release your sadness. And not only does exercise release endorphins that make us feel better, it also makes us focus on something other than our sadness while we're working out. So if you're in a season where sadness is your constant companion, why don't you take it on a run or take it to an aerobics class with you. Chances are your sadness will not be able to keep up. Okay? And it will leave you alone for that spell while you sweat it out at the gym, and then when you're done, you'll be amazed at the lift that you will feel.

Okay, third way. Number three, smile.

K.C. Wright: Smiling is my favorite. Remember what Buddy the Elf said? "I just like to smile. Smiling is my favorite."

Jennifer Rothschild: Oh, gosh.

K.C. Wright: Sorry. I'm sorry.

Jennifer Rothschild: I'm always up for an Elf quote. Always up for an Elf quote.

But here's the thing. It doesn't feel that way. Smiling does not feel like our favorite when we're sad, though, right? But here's the thing that's interesting to think about, y'all. You're not being a fake if you smile even when you're sad. You're being smart. Because studies actually show that smiling, even when you're sad, can help you feel better. Not only has research shown that smiling helps, but it also has shown that the opposite is true too. Frowning makes your sadness worse.

It's so interesting that our face can inform how we feel. It can be like a cue, like a nod, like, hey, this is how you're feeling right now. We always think of it the other way -- right? -- that our face reflects how we feel. But that's so interesting that we can act our way into a feeling. We can smile our way into a better mood or we can frown ourselves into feeling more deep sadness. So if you're sad, just try smiling. In fact, if you're having a bad day right now, wherever you are listening to this podcast, why don't you just do a big toothy grin. Look around and smile at people. Okay? At least you'll feel better because you'll see the funny looks that they're giving you when you do it. So if you're sad, just seriously, try smiling and see how you feel.

Okay, let's go to the fourth way. Fourth way is to listen to music. So listening to music, you can imagine, it can help soothe or relax you, right? And it can also help you have your focus shifted on to something higher and better and more beautiful. I mean, think about this. For a believer in Christ, this is like kryptonite for us. It unleashes all the power of the presence of God in our life as we join in worship. Especially when we're just praising the Lord or listening to Scripture, it can usher in healing. And I used to listen to these CDs -- this was many years ago -- and it was nothing but Scripture songs. Just literally the Word of God put to music. That Word will lift your spirits. But I will say this. When I say listen to music, I don't mean you go turn on all the sad '70s songs you used to listen to that are bleak or sad, or even today just put on some instrumental with some beautiful cello. I mean, it's beautiful to listen to, but it might make you feel a little more sad. Choose wisely the music you listen to.

And if you're having struggles with being focused, then make sure you listen to music that already contains lyrics, lyrics to which you want to aspire, lyrics that bring praise to the Lord, lyrics that state God's Word, and it will help you and it will lift your spirit. And think about this. When you're listening to praise music, you're experiencing God's presence, because Scripture says he inhabits the praises of his people.

I'm so serious about this, K.C., that I even have my Happy Happy Happy playlist. That's what I call it, Happy Happy Happy. That was before I knew Duck Dynastic guy said that. But I called it my Happy Happy Happy playlist.

K.C. Wright: Love it.

Jennifer Rothschild: And I still -- I mean, the songs on it are a little older now, but they still lift my spirit. I use the discipline of music when I'm frustrated or struggling with sadness or depression. I also have a playlist that's just songs about Heaven, because Heaven makes me happy, and so it lifts my spirits.

K.C. Wright: I love that. Oh, yeah, there's power in praise. I've got my praise songs on my phone too. And there's so much power when we fill our ears to fill our hearts with worship songs, because it gets our mind off of maybe the pit, the mountain, or the problem that's in front of us and lifts us our eyes to our Heavenly Father who has the answer for any problem we are facing in life.

Okay. Fifth way, Jenn. Fifth way.

Jennifer Rothschild: Okay, number five. Hang out with others. Hang out with others. You know, when you're really sad, it's often a very natural response to just isolate, to just be by yourself, me, myself, and I. But what happens is that leads to me, myself, and lies, and we start to believe untruths as we isolate ourselves. We want to stay home, we want to watch sad movies, we want to thumb through all those pictures that represent all that we've lost. But you don't need to do that in the first place. But if you're going to do that, then I'm going to ask you to get a buddy to come over and commiserate with you. Don't be alone if you're struggling with sadness.

I read some research one time that said that as you interact with loved ones, it literally increases your body's production of oxytocin, which helps to boost your mood. And studies also show that retreating from others -- and this makes total sense to you -- just makes depression worse. So if you're sad, don't wait until you feel better to hang out with a friend. Okay? Hang out with a friend and then see how it will make you feel better. Be brave. Take the risk, make the phone call, and just go be with somebody. Even if you don't have anybody available, go to a coffee shop where there are people around. Just that sense of not being isolated will help reduce some of your sense of sadness.

K.C. Wright: You may have a friend who is dealing with a hard situation feeling sad. Reach out to them with this podcast. I'm encouraging you to do that. Invite them to have coffee or go for a walk and listen. That way, you're exercising, you're helping them not isolate, you're listening to music. Hello. And remember, Jennifer will be singing at the end of this, and I am sure you will both be smiling by the end of that. So did you see how many ways --

Jennifer Rothschild: I know, that was impressive.

K.C. Wright: -- there are to overcome sadness that you'll be doing all at once?

Jennifer Rothschild: I know, you put that all in one sentence. Well done.

K.C. Wright: Okay. Keep us going, Jennifer. What is number six?

Jennifer Rothschild: Okay, number six. This is the last one. Still your soul. Still your soul. Now, what do I mean by that? I mean take time to pray and meditate on Scripture. When sadness is pressing in, you need to invite God into your sadness. Pray to him because he hears you and he cares. And meditate on comforting Scriptures. If you don't choose to meditate on the Word, you're going to meditate on the worst. Okay? I'm going to say that again. If you don't choose to meditate on the Word, you will meditate on the worst.

Because often when we're sad, we're meditating on our loss or our sorrow or the fear or the what-if or how we wish things had turned out. So turn that pondering into prayer and just move that meditation on sorrow and loss into meditation on God's Word. It can really lift your spirits, and it will relieve some of the sadness. It'll give you perspective.

K.C. Wright: Sadness is really just a part of being human.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah, it is.

K.C. Wright: Welcome to Planet Earth. But God has a hope and a future for all of us, and it is a future full of joy and victory. You're not a victim; you're a victor. So if you tuned in because you saw the title and thought, "That's me," you won't always feel this way, I promise. So when sadness hits, just hit back with these six strategies.

But ultimately, our heart is just to tell you to trust God. Trust God with your sadness, because he is the Great Physician and he makes house calls. He is with you right now. He will never leave you, nor forsake you. He is with you always until the end. And here's truth, heavenly truth. We never walk alone. And Dr. Jesus, not only does he prescribe, but he is the best medicine. He is with you right now in your sadness. So walk with him today, smile with him, and cry. Let it out. He will wipe your tears. Pop on over to the Show Notes at 413podcast.com/40 right now. Jenn's list of these six strategies are there just for you.

And from our hearts to you, never ever forget that you always have a friend. He is with you in your sadness. He understands. He celebrates with you, he walks with you, and he gives you all the strength you need. There is no one like Jesus. So whatever you face, however you feel, you can do all things through Christ who really does give you strength, supernatural strength. I can.

Jennifer Rothschild: I can.

Jennifer and K.C.: And you can.

Jennifer Rothschild: (Singing) There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus -- No, not one! No, not one! None else could heal all our soul's diseases -- No, not one! No, not one! Jesus knows all about our struggles, He will guide till the day is done; There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus -- No, not one! No, not one!

No friend like him is so high and holy -- No, not one! No, not one! And yet no friend is so meek and lowly -- No, not one! No, not one! Jesus knows all about our struggles, He will guide till the day is done; There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus -- No, not one! No, not one! No, not one! No, not one! There's not one like you. No, not one! No, not one! There's not one like you.

There's not an hour that He is not near us -- No, not one! No, not one! No night so dark that his love can't cheer us -- No, not one! No, not one! Jesus knows all about our struggles, He will guide till the day is done; There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus -- No, not one! No, none like you, Lord. No, not one! No, not one! There's not one like you. No, not one! No, not one! There's not one like you. No, not one! No, not one. There's not one like you.